All things ADHD
It was an honor to interview Joyce Kubik for the pod. Joyce is a mother with ADHD of kids with ADHD. (In fact, her kids are now grown, and have ADHD kids of their own!)
Joyce is also ADHD coach. Indeed, she was among the first. Hers are the shoulders that so many of us stand on when doing this work. She is a pioneer in the industry. And she shares her story, and some of her pioneering work with us in this episode.
In Today’s Episode We Discuss:
- Joyce’s life with ADHD.
- Growing up with ADHD in the 50s & 60s
- Living with an alcoholic father
- Joyce’s journey of self-discovery
- Learning about ADHD from an episode of 20/20 in 1993
- ADHD Misdiagnosis
- The importance of accurate descriptions of ADHD symptoms
- ADHD & Reading
- Using color to help study & remember content
- Joyce’s Bridge Model for ADHD
- ADHD & Memory
- Struggling to graduate from college
- Academic tips for students
- Getting results in a unique way
- Doing things the ADHD way
- Parenting in “rescue mode”
- Being a parent with ADHD of kids with ADHD
- Why ADHD kids interrupt
- How to have a calmer dinner
- Email Joyce at [email protected]
- Visit her Website:joycekubik.com
- Joyce’s memoir, “Unraveling ADHD”, can be bought on Amazon or at https://www.joycekubik.com/books-dvds/
ADHD Essentials Links:
- Learn about & Register for The ADHD Essentials Online Parent Coaching Groups
- ADHD Essentials Homepage
- Email Brendan at [email protected]
- Join Our Facebook Community
Today, we’re talking to Linda Roggli and Diane Dempster about the ADHD Parents Palooza, which will run next week, from August 20thto the 25th.
The ADHD Parents Palooza brings together many of the most well-known experts on ADHD to talk about parenting our complex kids. Guests include Dr. Russell Barkley, Ned Hallowell, and Jessica McCabe.
I wasn’t able to be a part of the Parents Palooza this time, but I hope to participate next year. I’ll be in the audience with those of you who attend, though.
And if you need help implementing the things you during the Palooza, the ADHD Essentials Parenting Coaching Groups are a great place to get that support. The next session starts in September.
In Today’s Episode We Discuss:
- The goals of the ADHD Parent Palooza
- The topics that will be discussed at the ADHD Parent Palooza
- Russell Barkley, Grand-Parenting, & ADHD
- The Guest Experts who are involved
- Where to find the Palooza
- How to avoid being overwhelmed by the all of the information of the Palooza
- The value parent coaching
- The ADHD Parents Palooza
- Linda Roggli, the ADD Diva
- Diane Dempster & Elaine Taylor-Claus’s Impact ADD
ADHD Essentials Links
It was a pleasure to talk to Katelynn Shea and Stephanie Kozlowski of Dynamy Internship Year. Dynamy is an outstanding Gap Year Program located in Worcester, MA. Katelynn is their Director of Admissions, and Stephanie is the Business Manager and Onsite Coordinator for USA Gap Year Fairs.
In Today’s Episode We Discuss:
- What is a Gap Year?
- The benefits of taking a Gap Year for kids with ADHD
- How Dynamy develops executive function skills
- Navigating the area between structure and independence
- The value of natural consequences
- The value of participating in an internship (perhaps one in blacksmithing?)
- How Gap Years help kids who are college bound, but not college ready
- Why colleges like kids who take Gap Years
- How Gap Years help students make better career choices
- Finding a good Gap Program with Gap Matcher
- The USA Gap Year Fairs
Links and Such:
Learn more about USA Gap Year Fairs here:
Learn more about Dynamy here:
Take the Gap Matcher Quiz here:
Contact Katelynn Shea at [email protected]
Contact Katelynn Kozlowski at [email protected]
And, as always, you can learn more about ADHD Essentials at:
Contact me at [email protected].
Chandler Creedon is a veteran educator with over 40 years of experience, working as a school psychologist, counselor, and college professor. He’s also a former professor of mine, and one of my mentors. It was an honor to have him on the show.
In today’s episode, we talk about skills, and how heavily a lack of skills plays into why kids struggle, both at school and at home. We go deep on executive function, and school issues, but don’t be intimidated if that’s not your background. I do my best to loop around and explain things when I think they’re unclear.
In this episode, I’m talking exercise and fitness, while battlnig a cold! Gabriel Villarreal is the owner of ADHD Counseling in the Roanoke Valley, as well as a strenth and conditioning coach. It’s that latter bit that we focus on in the episode. We talk about the importance of struggling, growth from failure, and the neurological benefits of exercise for the ADHD brain. (Though, that doesn’t coem unitl the end.)
Gabriel was great to talk to, and you can be sure he’s going to come back. Both on and off the air we noticed that there were many intersting places for us to go in futire episodes. I expect he’ll become a “friend of the show”.
Learn more about Gabriel at www.RoanokeADHD.com.
Or find him on his Facebook page.
Or just email him at [email protected]
And as usual, I can be reached at [email protected].
Enjoy the show!
Marina Darlow from Vision Framework visits us to talk about how creating systems can benefit families affected by ADHD, as well as what makes for a good system.
A systems expert, and self-proclaimed productivity geek, Marina sees her job as helping impact-driven entrepreneurs get 10-20 more productive hours a week, stop leaking money, and prevent stress-fueled breakdowns. She works with ADHD professionals to help them develop systems to better navigate ADHD in the workplace, but was kind enough to join the pod and talk about using a systems approach into the home.
An engineer by training, Marina came to a realization a couple years ago: working for a conglomerate is not as inspiring as she wants her life work to be. The quest for inspiration led her to found Vision Framework, a company that builds small, purpose-driven businesses from the inside, helping entrepreneurs run their companies with ease by putting effective, easy-to-use, and fun (yep!) systems in place.
Marina can be found at www.vision-framework.com, or at the social media links below:
She even provided some freebies!
Cheatsheet: Make a system work for the ADHD-gifted brain: 5 simple rules
In today’s episode, I talk to Jessica. She ahs ADHD, her husband ahs ADHD, and one of her two sons also has ADHD. Like many good ADHDers, Jessica has thrown out the rulebook for how things are “supposed to be done”, and is doing what works instead. As a family, they’ve built a foundation of mutual respect, and they address problems head on. They don’t play games, or hold grudges, and it’s clearly working for them.
We talk about ADHD at home, in school, and in sewing class. And Jessica shares stories about her dad’s lack of a filter, her own time in high school, and why little boys and living plants don’t mix.
Let me know what you think at [email protected].
2:12 Mom, Dad, and one of two kids all have ADHD
2:36 Typical things that get doubled up by ADHD
3:05 Understanding and patience
3:28 Disregarding social norms for division of labor
4:40 “We just kind of play to our strengths”
5:06 Consistently inconsistent
5:28 Respect as a foundation
6:35 Respecting the question “Why?”
7:50 Context helps those with ADHD do better
8:08 On pulling rank
9:18 Childhood troubles carrying over to adulthood
10:08 Receptive to a little bit of pushback
10:25 The Grown-Ups Guide to the Teenage Human -Josh Shipp
11:32 Diagnosed at 30, but childhood report cards reflect ADHD
12:20 Her dad is a HOOT!
13:03 All you can ask for from parents
13:24 Be the adult that you needed when you were a kid
13:55 Transitions, Anxiety, and Anger
15:07 Helping her kid with anxiety
16:34 Sewing anxiety (but not discord)
17:35 Spiders in the toilet
19:03 Embracing weaknesses and strengths
20:36 Consequences for last minute work
21:07 The consequence should fit the solution to the problem
22:00 Punishing for extended period of time doesn’t work
22:33 1-2-3 Magic –
24:37 How the non-ADHD kid is affected
27:03 The importance of turning toward each other
28:17 Dad’s ADHD & their relationship
30:08 Everybody needs more self awareness
30:36 People with ADHD as a minority group
31:39 ADHD and school
33:00 When Jessica was in school
34:00 Don’t tell me I can do better, tell me HOW to do better
35:43 Allergies, Medication, and being careful about science
37:30 Home/School communication
38:21 “The hurdles change every time you get the hang of it.”
38:33 On boys and dead plants
39:37 Parenting ADHD requires doing your homework, ironically
40:43 Advocating for our kids through ourselves
41:39 Why parents don’t get last names on the podcast
42:34 Sewing and kids with ADHD
43:09 The role of shame
44:03 Respect, modeling and owning mistake
44:47 If you suck at all those things…
45:10 The power of The Golden Rule
46:12 Ending Essential
Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Eric Tivers. Eric is an ADHD coach, and licensed clinical social worker. He’s the host of the ADHD reWired podcast, and runs the ADHD reWired adult coaching groups.
But in this episode, he’s talking as a dad who has ADHD, parenting a thrice-exceptional child who is gifted, and who has autism and ADHD. We discuss the challenges of transferring skills from work to home, the role sensory stimulation plays in his life, including how overwhelming it can be, and he tells the epic tale of cleaning crayons out of his dryer.
Eric can be found at www.ADHDreWired.com.
You can learn more about his coaching groups at www.coachingreWired.com.
And the reWired podcast can be found at www.ADHDreWired.com/podcast
Let me now what you think of today’s episode by emailing me at [email protected].
As usual, I can be found at www.ADHDessentials.com.
2:03 Hardest job he’s ever had
3:15 Son doesn’t know why he did, Dad doesn’t know why he didn’t
3:43 Planning and being “on” as dad
3:59 Son has always needed/gotten less sleep
4:34 Transitioning is hard because Eric is “state-based”
6:05 Getting home after son is in bed
6:44 Working on shifting gears
6:54 Adulting is hard
7:10 Making a dentist appointment
7:32 “ADHD is frustrating and comical at the same time.”
7:43 “…and I’m responsible for a life!”
8:13 Eric is grateful for wife and her acceptance of his ADHD
9:09 “Acceptance grows when gratitude shows up.”
9:23 Phone calls are hard
10:29 Supportive spouses supplying strategies
11:09 Filling tires and taking Adderall
11:55 The struggle to bring successful work strategies home
12:12 Environmentally-based to-do lists
12:37 Dad needs checklists and reminders for homework, too!
13:09 On the transfer of concepts from one environment to another
14:02 Generalization of concepts
14:11 Stepping back professionally from Autism work
15:24 Uncarved pumpkins
16:04 Needing a plan at home as well as at work
16:38 On trying to remember names
17:29 How to fake it when you forget a teacher’s name
18:23 Wild wife memory skills
19:00 Eric the hippy
19:21 Never enough time
20:10 Fluff only after 8pm
21:12 “Dishwasher moments”
22:04 Wandering assumptions
22:32 Undermined at the gym
23:12 Father and son podcasts and projects
23:46 Creating space for son to “let him be him”
24:05 Potty humor
24:33 Son is linguistically gifted
26:13 On Pokemon
28:05 On wrestling and rough play
28:40 Activate Zerbert-Tron
29:21 Teaching boundaries and body respect
30:13 The power and challenge of reassuring hugs
30:55 Eric opens his parenting toolbox
31:05 The row your boat strategy
31:29 Developing cues to breathe deeply
32:36 Meet them where they are, and start with sensory needs
33:40 Teach self-regulation strategies
34:45 Give Feedback with self-esteem in mind
35:42 X-Ray blankets and dentist nerves
36:14 Family visits and sensory overwhelm
37:45 Ending Essentials
38:46 Eric’s not-so proud parenting moments
I had a blast talking to my friend Dr. Kirsten Milliken. We started off doing an episode for her show, Your ADHD Life, and wrapped up with this episode of ADHD Essentials. Kirsten is a psychologist, a mother (with ADHD) of two boys (one with ADHD, one without), and an ADHD coach! So there was a lot to talk about.
In today’s episode, we discuss about her journey to getting an ADHD diagnosis as an adult, her book PlayDHD, and the importance of learning how to pause when moments get heated. She also indulged me as I told her about a scavenger hunt I created for my boys that was inspired by her work.
There’s a lot in this one. I hope you enjoy it!
Dr. Kirsten Milliken can be found at YourADHDLife.com.
Her book, PlayDHD, can be found here.
And you can contact her here.
Let me now what you think of today’s episode by emailing me at [email protected].
2:06 How Dr. Kirsten became diagnosed with ADHD
4:07 Missing signs of ADHD because you’re too close to them
5:11 The “ah-ha” moment of diagnosis
6:18 Professionals who “get” ADHD tend to have ADHD
6:49 Not all clinicians understand ADHD at a deep enough level
7:45 ADHD is a matter of degree
8:30 Does our distracted culture make it harder to prove ADHD is valid?
8:58 Yes. Unless you have a good metaphor
9:31 ADHD, asthma, and our distracted culture
11:23 Going back to Dr. Kirsten as a parent
11:38 ADHD adds a lot of fun!
12:01 Folks with ADHD can be frustrating for nonADHDers
12:52 Oftentimes strong emotions spread from mm to son, and vice versa
13:15 Wanting things to be better for our kids
14:03 The emotional challenges of ADHD
14:31 The movie “Up” gets Oliver down
14:58 “As a parent, I wanna fix that!”
15:17 Uncomfortable emotions mean you care
15:49 The challenge of being less emotionally reactive
16:04 Naming our emotions helps us control them
16:27 They’re not trying to upset us
16:56 “This is” vs. “You are”
17:45 Brendan and Kirsten’s first meeting
18:28 Usibng play to help kids manage ADHD
19:18 The link between ADHD and play
20:01 What the doc means by play
21:03 Using play to help kids clean their room
23:00 Kirsten inspires Brendan’s scavenger hunt
23:53 The clues built the skills
25:05 Addressing social emotional needs with the hunt
26:41 You can use play to teach lids things
27:02 There’s a reason kids with ADHD can be class clowns.
27:16 “Just a doctor”
28:01 Coaching is the best model for treating ADHD
28:15 Coaching vs. Therapy
28:44 Therapy is about “fixing” yourself
29:19 Coaching is about where you want to go
30:41 Your ADHD Life
32:36 If you understand, you can help
32:47 Ending Essential
34:13 Managing the pause
35:58 Finding the pause after the reaction
37:41 Modeling the pause
Brendan works with individuals, families and institutions who are affected by ADHD. Many of his clients are in a period of transition either at work, school, or in their relationships. Through careful questioning, education, skill building and trouble-shooting, Brendan helps them rebalance the influence ADHD has on them.
The better we understand ADHD and the way it impacts our lives, the more effectively we can manage it. ADHD is driven by a lack of skills, but those skills can be taught and developed. ADHD might still win sometimes, but if we commit to making steady progress, getting 10% better day-to- day and week-to- week, we’ll come out ahead in the long run.
- October 2018 Workshop Dates
- PODCAST 36: Comics & ADHD with Dav Pilkey, Creator of Captain Underpants, and an Adult diagnosed with ADHD
- PODCAST 34: Unraveling ADHD from the 50s & 60s to Today, with Joyce Kubik, ADHD Coach, Parent with ADHD of kids with ADHD (and grandkids with ADHD)
- PODCAST 33: ADHD Parents Palooza with Linda Roggli and Diane Dempster