All things ADHD

PODCAST 34: Unraveling ADHD from the 50s & 60s to Today, with Joyce Kubik, ADHD Coach, Parent with ADHD of kids with ADHD (and grandkids with ADHD)

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It was an honor to interview Joyce Kubik for the pod.  Joyce is a mother with ADHD of kids with ADHD.  (In fact, her kids are now grown, and have ADHD kids of their own!)

Joyce is also ADHD coach.  Indeed, she was among the first.  Hers are the shoulders that so many of us stand on when doing this work. She is a pioneer in the industry.  And she shares her story, and some of her pioneering work with us in this episode.

 

 

In Today’s Episode We Discuss:

  • Joyce’s life with ADHD.
  • Growing up with ADHD in the 50s & 60s
  • Living with an alcoholic father
  • Joyce’s journey of self-discovery
  • Learning about ADHD from an episode of 20/20 in 1993
  • ADHD Misdiagnosis
  • The importance of accurate descriptions of ADHD symptoms
  • ADHD & Reading
  • Using color to help study & remember content
  • Joyce’s Bridge Model for ADHD
  • ADHD & Memory
  • Struggling to graduate from college
  • Academic tips for students
  • Getting results in a unique way
  • Doing things the ADHD way
  • Parenting in “rescue mode”
  • Being a parent with ADHD of kids with ADHD
  • Why ADHD kids interrupt
  • How to have a calmer dinner

 

Guest Links:

 

ADHD Essentials Links:

 

 

PODCAST 33: ADHD Parents Palooza with Linda Roggli and Diane Dempster

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Today, we’re talking to Linda Roggli and Diane Dempster about the ADHD Parents Palooza, which will run next week, from August 20thto the 25th.

The ADHD Parents Palooza brings together many of the most well-known experts on ADHD to talk about parenting our complex kids.  Guests include Dr. Russell Barkley, Ned Hallowell, and Jessica McCabe.

I wasn’t able to be a part of the Parents Palooza this time, but I hope to participate next year.  I’ll be in the audience with those of you who attend, though.

And if you need help implementing the things you during the Palooza, the ADHD Essentials Parenting Coaching Groups are a great place to get that support.  The next session starts in September.

In Today’s Episode We Discuss:

  • The goals of the ADHD Parent Palooza
  • The topics that will be discussed at the ADHD Parent Palooza
  • Russell Barkley, Grand-Parenting, & ADHD
  • The Guest Experts who are involved
  • Where to find the Palooza
  • How to avoid being overwhelmed by the all of the information of the Palooza
  • The value parent coaching

 

Guest Links

 

ADHD Essentials Links

PODCAST 28: Taking a Gap Year with Katelynn Shea and Stephanie Kozlowski of Dynamy Internship Year

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It was a pleasure to talk to Katelynn Shea and Stephanie Kozlowski of Dynamy Internship Year.  Dynamy is an outstanding Gap Year Program located in Worcester, MA. Katelynn is their Director of Admissions, and Stephanie is the Business Manager and Onsite Coordinator for USA Gap Year Fairs.

 

 

In Today’s Episode We Discuss:

  • What is a Gap Year?
  • The benefits of taking a Gap Year for kids with ADHD
  • How Dynamy develops executive function skills
  • Navigating the area between structure and independence
  • The value of natural consequences
  • The value of participating in an internship (perhaps one in blacksmithing?)
  • How Gap Years help kids who are college bound, but not college ready
  • Why colleges like kids who take Gap Years
  • How Gap Years help students make better career choices
  • Finding a good Gap Program with Gap Matcher
  • The USA Gap Year Fairs

 

Links and Such:

Learn more about USA Gap Year Fairs here:

www.USAGapYearFairs.org

Learn more about Dynamy here:
www.dynamy.org

Take the Gap Matcher Quiz here:
https://gapmatcher.com

Contact Katelynn Shea at SheaK@youinc.org

Contact Katelynn Kozlowski at KozlowskiS@youinc.org

 

And, as always, you can learn more about ADHD Essentials at:

www.ADHDessentials.com.

Contact me at Brendan@ADHDessentials.com.

PODCAST 18: What’s The Skill Set That’s Missing?

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Chandler Creedon is a veteran educator with over 40 years of experience, working as a school psychologist, counselor, and college professor. He’s also a former professor of mine, and one of my mentors.  It was an honor to have him on the show.

In today’s episode, we talk about skills, and how heavily a lack of skills plays into why kids struggle, both at school and at home.  We go deep on executive function, and school issues, but don’t be intimidated if that’s not your background.  I do my best to loop around and explain things when I think they’re unclear.

PODCAST 16: The Struggle Makes Us Stronger with Gabriel Villarreal, Strength & Condition Coach and Mental Health Counselor Specialized in ADHD

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In this episode, I’m talking exercise and fitness, while battlnig a cold!  Gabriel Villarreal is the owner of ADHD Counseling in the Roanoke Valley, as well as a strenth and conditioning coach.  It’s that latter bit that we focus on in the episode.  We talk about the importance of struggling, growth from failure, and the neurological benefits of exercise for the ADHD brain.  (Though, that doesn’t coem unitl the end.)

Gabriel was great to talk to, and you can be sure he’s going to come back.  Both on and off the air we noticed that there were many intersting places for us to go in futire episodes.  I expect he’ll become a “friend of the show”.

 

 

Learn more about Gabriel at www.RoanokeADHD.com.

Or find him on his Facebook page.

Or just email him at gabriel@roanokeadhd.com.

 

And as usual, I can be reached at Brendan@ADHDessentials.com.

Enjoy the show!

 

PODCAST 15: ADHD Friendly Systems in the Household

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Marina Darlow from Vision Framework visits us to talk about how creating systems can benefit families affected by ADHD, as well as what makes for a good system.

A systems expert, and self-proclaimed productivity geek, Marina sees her job as helping impact-driven entrepreneurs get 10-20 more productive hours a week, stop leaking money, and prevent stress-fueled breakdowns.  She works with ADHD professionals to help them develop systems to better navigate ADHD in the workplace, but was kind enough to join the pod and talk about using a systems approach into the home.

An engineer by training, Marina came to a realization a couple years ago: working for a conglomerate is not as inspiring as she wants her life work to be. The quest for inspiration led her to found Vision Framework, a company that builds small, purpose-driven businesses from the inside, helping entrepreneurs run their companies with ease by putting effective, easy-to-use, and fun (yep!) systems in place.

 

 

Marina can be found at  www.vision-framework.com, or at the social media links below:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/VisionFramework/
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/VisionFramework/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marinadarlow/

 

She even provided some freebies!

Cheatsheet: Make a system work for the ADHD-gifted brain: 5 simple rules

Free course: WHICH SYSTEM to TACKLE FIRST ?!

PODCAST 11: Respect as the Foundation of Family with Jessica, ADHD Mom

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In today’s episode, I talk to Jessica. She ahs ADHD, her husband ahs ADHD, and one of her two sons also has ADHD. Like many good ADHDers, Jessica has thrown out the rulebook for how things are “supposed to be done”, and is doing what works instead. As a family, they’ve built a foundation of mutual respect, and they address problems head on. They don’t play games, or hold grudges, and it’s clearly working for them.

We talk about ADHD at home, in school, and in sewing class. And Jessica shares stories about her dad’s lack of a filter, her own time in high school, and why little boys and living plants don’t mix.

Let me know what you think at brendan@ADHDessentials.com.

 

 

Show Notes:

2:12     Mom, Dad, and one of two kids all have ADHD

2:36     Typical things that get doubled up by ADHD

3:05     Understanding and patience

3:28     Disregarding social norms for division of labor

4:40     “We just kind of play to our strengths”

5:06     Consistently inconsistent

5:28     Respect as a foundation

6:35     Respecting the question “Why?”

7:50     Context helps those with ADHD do better

8:08     On pulling rank

9:18     Childhood troubles carrying over to adulthood

10:08   Receptive to a little bit of pushback

10:25   The Grown-Ups Guide to the Teenage Human -Josh Shipp

11:32   Diagnosed at 30, but childhood report cards reflect ADHD

12:20   Her dad is a HOOT!

13:03   All you can ask for from parents

13:24   Be the adult that you needed when you were a kid

13:55   Transitions, Anxiety, and Anger

15:07   Helping her kid with anxiety

16:34   Sewing anxiety (but not discord)

17:35   Spiders in the toilet

19:03   Embracing weaknesses and strengths

20:36   Consequences for last minute work

21:07   The consequence should fit the solution to the problem

22:00 Punishing for extended period of time doesn’t work

22:33   1-2-3 Magic –

24:37   How the non-ADHD kid is affected

27:03   The importance of turning toward each other

28:17   Dad’s ADHD & their relationship

30:08   Everybody needs more self awareness

30:36   People with ADHD as a minority group

31:39   ADHD and school

33:00   When Jessica was in school

34:00   Don’t tell me I can do better, tell me HOW to do better

35:43   Allergies, Medication, and being careful about science

37:30   Home/School communication

38:21   “The hurdles change every time you get the hang of it.”

38:33   On boys and dead plants

39:37   Parenting ADHD requires doing your homework, ironically

40:43   Advocating for our kids through ourselves

41:39   Why parents don’t get last names on the podcast

42:34   Sewing and kids with ADHD

43:09   The role of shame

44:03   Respect, modeling and owning mistake

44:47   If you suck at all those things…

45:10   The power of The Golden Rule

46:12   Ending Essential

PODCAST 10: Zerberts, Sensory Challenges, and Crayons in the Dryer with Eric Tivers, Parent with ADHD of a thrice-exceptional son

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Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Eric Tivers. Eric is an ADHD coach, and licensed clinical social worker. He’s the host of the ADHD reWired podcast, and runs the ADHD reWired adult coaching groups.

But in this episode, he’s talking as a dad who has ADHD, parenting a thrice-exceptional child who is gifted, and who has autism and ADHD. We discuss the challenges of transferring skills from work to home, the role sensory stimulation plays in his life, including how overwhelming it can be, and he tells the epic tale of cleaning crayons out of his dryer.

 

Eric can be found at www.ADHDreWired.com.

You can learn more about his coaching groups at www.coachingreWired.com.

And the reWired podcast can be found at www.ADHDreWired.com/podcast

Let me now what you think of today’s episode by emailing me at Brendan@ADHDessentials.com.

As usual, I can be found at www.ADHDessentials.com.

 

 

Show Notes

2:03    Hardest job he’s ever had

3:15    Son doesn’t know why he did, Dad doesn’t know why he didn’t

3:43    Planning and being “on” as dad

3:59    Son has always needed/gotten less sleep

4:34    Transitioning is hard because Eric is “state-based”

6:05    Getting home after son is in bed

6:44    Working on shifting gears

6:54    Adulting is hard

7:10    Making a dentist appointment

7:32    “ADHD is frustrating and comical at the same time.”

7:43    “…and I’m responsible for a life!”

8:13    Eric is grateful for wife and her acceptance of his ADHD

9:09    “Acceptance grows when gratitude shows up.”

9:23    Phone calls are hard

10:29  Supportive spouses supplying strategies

11:09  Filling tires and taking Adderall

11:55  The struggle to bring successful work strategies home

12:12  Environmentally-based to-do lists

12:37 Dad needs checklists and reminders for homework, too!

13:09  On the transfer of concepts from one environment to another

14:02  Generalization of concepts

14:11 Stepping back professionally from Autism work

15:24  Uncarved pumpkins

16:04  Needing a plan at home as well as at work

16:38  On trying to remember names

17:29  How to fake it when you forget a teacher’s name

18:23  Wild wife memory skills

19:00  Eric the hippy

19:21 Never enough time

20:10  Fluff only after 8pm

21:12  “Dishwasher moments”

22:04  Wandering assumptions

22:32  Undermined at the gym

23:12  Father and son podcasts and projects

23:46  Creating space for son to “let him be him”

24:05 Potty humor

24:33 Son is linguistically gifted

26:13  On Pokemon

28:05  On wrestling and rough play

28:40  Activate Zerbert-Tron

29:21  Teaching boundaries and body respect

30:13  The power and challenge of reassuring hugs

30:55  Eric opens his parenting toolbox

31:05  The row your boat strategy

31:29  Developing cues to breathe deeply

32:36 Meet them where they are, and start with sensory needs

33:40  Teach self-regulation strategies

34:45  Give Feedback with self-esteem in mind

35:42  X-Ray blankets and dentist nerves

36:14  Family visits and sensory overwhelm

37:45  Ending Essentials

38:46  Eric’s not-so proud parenting moments

42:37  Wrap-up

 

PODCAST 9: Playing and Pausing with Dr. Kirsten Milliken, ADHD Parent and ADHD Expert

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I had a blast talking to my friend Dr. Kirsten Milliken. We started off doing an episode for her show, Your ADHD Life, and wrapped up with this episode of ADHD Essentials. Kirsten is a psychologist, a mother (with ADHD) of two boys (one with ADHD, one without), and an ADHD coach! So there was a lot to talk about.

In today’s episode, we discuss about her journey to getting an ADHD diagnosis as an adult, her book PlayDHD, and the importance of learning how to pause when moments get heated. She also indulged me as I told her about a scavenger hunt I created for my boys that was inspired by her work.

There’s a lot in this one.  I hope you enjoy it!

 

Dr. Kirsten Milliken can be found at YourADHDLife.com.

Her book, PlayDHD, can be found here.

And you can contact her here.

 

Let me now what you think of today’s episode by emailing me at Brendan@ADHDessentials.com.

 

 

Show Notes:

 

2:06     How Dr. Kirsten became diagnosed with ADHD

4:07     Missing signs of ADHD because you’re too close to them

5:11     The “ah-ha” moment of diagnosis

6:18     Professionals who “get” ADHD tend to have ADHD

6:49     Not all clinicians understand ADHD at a deep enough level

7:45     ADHD is a matter of degree

8:30     Does our distracted culture make it harder to prove ADHD is valid?

8:58     Yes. Unless you have a good metaphor

9:31     ADHD, asthma, and our distracted culture

11:23   Going back to Dr. Kirsten as a parent

11:38   ADHD adds a lot of fun!

12:01   Folks with ADHD can be frustrating for nonADHDers

12:52   Oftentimes strong emotions spread from mm to son, and vice versa

13:15   Wanting things to be better for our kids

14:03   The emotional challenges of ADHD

14:31   The movie “Up” gets Oliver down

14:58   “As a parent, I wanna fix that!”

15:17   Uncomfortable emotions mean you care

15:49   The challenge of being less emotionally reactive

16:04   Naming our emotions helps us control them

16:27   They’re not trying to upset us

16:56   “This is” vs. “You are”

17:04   PlayDHD

17:45   Brendan and Kirsten’s first meeting

18:28   Usibng play to help kids manage ADHD

19:18   The link between ADHD and play

20:01   What the doc means by play

21:03   Using play to help kids clean their room

23:00   Kirsten inspires Brendan’s scavenger hunt

23:53   The clues built the skills

25:05   Addressing social emotional needs with the hunt

26:41   You can use play to teach lids things

27:02   There’s a reason kids with ADHD can be class clowns.

27:16   “Just a doctor”

28:01   Coaching is the best model for treating ADHD

28:15   Coaching vs. Therapy

28:44   Therapy is about “fixing” yourself

29:19   Coaching is about where you want to go

30:41   Your ADHD Life

32:36   If you understand, you can help

32:47   Ending Essential

34:13   Managing the pause

35:58   Finding the pause after the reaction

37:41   Modeling the pause

PODCAST 8: Slow Mornings, Smashed Tasks, and Kindness Clipboards with Stephanie Letourneau, 3rd Grade Teacher

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On one of the recent snow days, I sent a message to my friend Stephanie Letourneau and asked if she’d let me interview her for the podcast. She agreed, and I’m glad she did. What followed was an excellent discussion about helping our kids break down tasks, manage their emotions, and feel included.

Another topic we discuss is the challenging shift that occurs between 2nd and 3rd grade. This type of shift also happens between 3rd and 4th grade, and during the transitions from elementary to middle school, middle school to high school, and from high school to college. So, although the strategies Stephanie shares come from the perspective of a third grade classroom, they can be adapted across grade and age levels, and used both in school, and at home.

If you need any help adapting the ideas in this episode, feel free to contact me at Brendan@ADHDessentials.com.

And, as usual, I can be found at www.ADHDessentials.com.

 

 

Show Notes: 

2:05     Why the transition from 2nd to 3rd grade is hard for students and for Stephanie

4:06     How the transition affects ADHD students

4:44     Learning to read vs. Reading to learn

6:43     Summer regression

7:06     Smash the Task!

7:13     The value of starting slow

8:08     Smash the Task Part II

9:57     One task at a time with clear instructions

10:16   Two kids with ADHD: One’s done, the other hasn’t started.

11:04   Brendan tries to translate the tips hiding in the story

13:10   Writing is thinking

13:45   Choice helps with engagement

14:44   But too much choice can be overwhelming

15:55   Know your kid’s learning styles

16:20   Things that work for ADHD kids are just good teaching strategies

16:32   School is not an office!

16:51   It’s not in the curriculum, but teaching kids to recognize their emotions matters

17:30   Slowing down the morning is about getting the emotions in line

17:56   10 minute guided meditations help with transition

18:40   Spaghetti toes

19:36   NOTE: An OT is an occupational therapist

20:13   Putting work into helping kids transition

21:05   Teaching strategies, development gaps, and the nature of ADHD

22:57   Grade-to-grade transitions, ADHD, and regression

24:25   Making sure their brains are ready

25:07   Allow time for transition. Even at home.

25:39   Alternative Seating

27:45   Systems and discussions help navigate seating (and other) conflicts.

28:11   ADHD kids like the rockers. (Tired kids do too!)

28:50   Go Noodle

29:38   Sometimes you have to stop and take a break

30:25   A lesson from Stephanie’s grandma

31:02   Meditation and “A Stitch in Time Save Nine”.

32:03   YouTube advocates lying to children

33:37   ADHD kids are more likely to be bullied

33:52   Making the classroom safe for everyone.

34:58   Creating an inclusive environment

35:29   Kindness Clipboards

37:36   We’re all in this together

38:45   Positive Attitude

39:13   Ending Essential