PODCAST 11: Respect as the Foundation of Family with Jessica, ADHD Mom
In today’s episode, I talk to Jessica. She ahs ADHD, her husband ahs ADHD, and one of her two sons also has ADHD. Like many good ADHDers, Jessica has thrown out the rulebook for how things are “supposed to be done”, and is doing what works instead. As a family, they’ve built a foundation of mutual respect, and they address problems head on. They don’t play games, or hold grudges, and it’s clearly working for them.
We talk about ADHD at home, in school, and in sewing class. And Jessica shares stories about her dad’s lack of a filter, her own time in high school, and why little boys and living plants don’t mix.
Let me know what you think at brendan@ADHDessentials.com.
Show Notes:
2:12 Mom, Dad, and one of two kids all have ADHD
2:36 Typical things that get doubled up by ADHD
3:05 Understanding and patience
3:28 Disregarding social norms for division of labor
4:40 “We just kind of play to our strengths”
5:06 Consistently inconsistent
5:28 Respect as a foundation
6:35 Respecting the question “Why?”
7:50 Context helps those with ADHD do better
8:08 On pulling rank
9:18 Childhood troubles carrying over to adulthood
10:08 Receptive to a little bit of pushback
10:25 The Grown-Ups Guide to the Teenage Human -Josh Shipp
11:32 Diagnosed at 30, but childhood report cards reflect ADHD
12:20 Her dad is a HOOT!
13:03 All you can ask for from parents
13:24 Be the adult that you needed when you were a kid
13:55 Transitions, Anxiety, and Anger
15:07 Helping her kid with anxiety
16:34 Sewing anxiety (but not discord)
17:35 Spiders in the toilet
19:03 Embracing weaknesses and strengths
20:36 Consequences for last minute work
21:07 The consequence should fit the solution to the problem
22:00 Punishing for extended period of time doesn’t work
22:33 1-2-3 Magic –
24:37 How the non-ADHD kid is affected
27:03 The importance of turning toward each other
28:17 Dad’s ADHD & their relationship
30:08 Everybody needs more self awareness
30:36 People with ADHD as a minority group
31:39 ADHD and school
33:00 When Jessica was in school
34:00 Don’t tell me I can do better, tell me HOW to do better
35:43 Allergies, Medication, and being careful about science
37:30 Home/School communication
38:21 “The hurdles change every time you get the hang of it.”
38:33 On boys and dead plants
39:37 Parenting ADHD requires doing your homework, ironically
40:43 Advocating for our kids through ourselves
41:39 Why parents don’t get last names on the podcast
42:34 Sewing and kids with ADHD
43:09 The role of shame
44:03 Respect, modeling and owning mistake
44:47 If you suck at all those things…
45:10 The power of The Golden Rule
46:12 Ending Essential