PODCAST 10: Zerberts, Sensory Challenges, and Crayons in the Dryer with Eric Tivers, Parent with ADHD of a thrice-exceptional son
Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Eric Tivers. Eric is an ADHD coach, and licensed clinical social worker. He’s the host of the ADHD reWired podcast, and runs the ADHD reWired adult coaching groups.
But in this episode, he’s talking as a dad who has ADHD, parenting a thrice-exceptional child who is gifted, and who has autism and ADHD. We discuss the challenges of transferring skills from work to home, the role sensory stimulation plays in his life, including how overwhelming it can be, and he tells the epic tale of cleaning crayons out of his dryer.
Eric can be found at www.ADHDreWired.com.
You can learn more about his coaching groups at www.coachingreWired.com.
And the reWired podcast can be found at www.ADHDreWired.com/podcast
Let me now what you think of today’s episode by emailing me at Brendan@ADHDessentials.com.
As usual, I can be found at www.ADHDessentials.com.
Show Notes
2:03 Hardest job he’s ever had
3:15 Son doesn’t know why he did, Dad doesn’t know why he didn’t
3:43 Planning and being “on” as dad
3:59 Son has always needed/gotten less sleep
4:34 Transitioning is hard because Eric is “state-based”
6:05 Getting home after son is in bed
6:44 Working on shifting gears
6:54 Adulting is hard
7:10 Making a dentist appointment
7:32 “ADHD is frustrating and comical at the same time.”
7:43 “…and I’m responsible for a life!”
8:13 Eric is grateful for wife and her acceptance of his ADHD
9:09 “Acceptance grows when gratitude shows up.”
9:23 Phone calls are hard
10:29 Supportive spouses supplying strategies
11:09 Filling tires and taking Adderall
11:55 The struggle to bring successful work strategies home
12:12 Environmentally-based to-do lists
12:37 Dad needs checklists and reminders for homework, too!
13:09 On the transfer of concepts from one environment to another
14:02 Generalization of concepts
14:11 Stepping back professionally from Autism work
15:24 Uncarved pumpkins
16:04 Needing a plan at home as well as at work
16:38 On trying to remember names
17:29 How to fake it when you forget a teacher’s name
18:23 Wild wife memory skills
19:00 Eric the hippy
19:21 Never enough time
20:10 Fluff only after 8pm
21:12 “Dishwasher moments”
22:04 Wandering assumptions
22:32 Undermined at the gym
23:12 Father and son podcasts and projects
23:46 Creating space for son to “let him be him”
24:05 Potty humor
24:33 Son is linguistically gifted
26:13 On Pokemon
28:05 On wrestling and rough play
28:40 Activate Zerbert-Tron
29:21 Teaching boundaries and body respect
30:13 The power and challenge of reassuring hugs
30:55 Eric opens his parenting toolbox
31:05 The row your boat strategy
31:29 Developing cues to breathe deeply
32:36 Meet them where they are, and start with sensory needs
33:40 Teach self-regulation strategies
34:45 Give Feedback with self-esteem in mind
35:42 X-Ray blankets and dentist nerves
36:14 Family visits and sensory overwhelm
37:45 Ending Essentials
38:46 Eric’s not-so proud parenting moments
42:37 Wrap-up