Sandy and I had a great conversation about her husband, her kids, and the way ADHD affects their family. One aspect of this episode that I love is the symmetry of it – the topics we discuss early on in our conversation return again at the end, allowing us to go into more depth in them the second time through.
I was impressed with Sandy’s honesty and willingess to be vulerable, as well as the clear love she has for her husband. Being married to ADHD can be hard at times, and I appreciated her willingness to go there during her time on the show.
And she seemed to find some meaning in the thoughts and ideas that I shared. Which is nice, since helping people is my main goal in doing this.
I hope you find meaning in this episode as well.
As usual, I can be found at ADHDessentials.com.
Or email me at brendan@ADHDessentials.com.
1:46 Always 15 minutes early or 30 minutes late
2:55 Chris’s diagnosis leads to Dad’s tears
4:06 ADHD, litigation, and the need for excitement
5:18 Last minute struggles and working in bursts
7:13 Travelling in the car together
8:32 Struggles with consistency
8:54 Feeling like she has to overcompensate for Chris’s ADHD
11:26 Three kids, and one might have ADHD
13:40 Two years old and counting in three languages
14:12 How Sandy met Chris
15:06 Married to ADHD is a mixed bag
15:47 ADHD and the gap between the twins
17:00 The kid who walks into walls
18:34 Swimming lessons and mercurial moods
20:36 W’s Everywhere
22:44 What ADHD adds
24:24 Self Medicating with Surfing
24:59 Overcompensating after hurting feelings
26:51 Empathy beats fixing
27:06 Prepping the ADHD person in advance
28:44 The biggest challenge is carrying the mental load
31:58 But it depends on the day
34:15 “Is there anything you need me to do?”
35:31 Chris addressing Sandy’s needs makes a world of difference
36:17 A strong base of love and understanding helps a lot
38:35 The 5 Love Languages
40:57 Dopamine and small vs. large efforts
43:09 ADHD is just one aspect of the relationship
44:19 Communication and problem-solving
46:10 The moralization of ADHD
46:40 Sandy reflects again on Chris’s dad’s reaction to Chris’s ADHD diagnosis